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A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. “Here is the situation,” she said. “A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing.

He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A girl raised her hand and asked, “To draw out all his savings?”

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1.

Son: “Daddy, why some of your hairs have turned white?”

Father: “Every lie you tell makes one of my hairs white.”

Son: Oh, now I understand why all grandfathers’ hairs are white. 2. The teacher asks the children what they would like to do in the future.

Jimmy: I want to be a pilot. Willy: I want to become a doctor. Mary: I want to be a good mother.

Little Johnny: I want to help Mary. 3. Children lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

4. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because although a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I’ll ask Jonas.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

5. A 7-year-old child is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating so many chocolate bars is bad for you.”

The boy looks over and replies, “My great-grandfather lived to be one hundred and five”.

The man replies, “And he ate so much chocolate?”

“No,” the boy says, “he minded his own business. 6. In a shop for kids.

Peter chooses a toy car, comes to the cash desk, and gives the cashier money cards from the Monopoly game. The cashier:

– Are you stupid? It’s not real money!

A lesson in logicc #2 Read More

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. “Here is the situation,” she said. “A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing.

He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A girl raised her hand and asked, “To draw out all his savings?”

================================
1.

Son: “Daddy, why some of your hairs have turned white?”

Father: “Every lie you tell makes one of my hairs white.”

Son: Oh, now I understand why all grandfathers’ hairs are white. 2. The teacher asks the children what they would like to do in the future.

Jimmy: I want to be a pilot. Willy: I want to become a doctor. Mary: I want to be a good mother.

Little Johnny: I want to help Mary. 3. Children lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

4. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because although a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I’ll ask Jonas.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

5. A 7-year-old child is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating so many chocolate bars is bad for you.”

The boy looks over and replies, “My great-grandfather lived to be one hundred and five”.

The man replies, “And he ate so much chocolate?”

“No,” the boy says, “he minded his own business. 6. In a shop for kids.

Peter chooses a toy car, comes to the cash desk, and gives the cashier money cards from the Monopoly game. The cashier:

– Are you stupid? It’s not real money!

A lesson in logicc #3 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #14 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #15 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #16 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #17 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #10 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #11 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #12 Read More

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren. “I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly. The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do differently?

Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised. “No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table, she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!

A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patioo #13 Read More